Today I am full of Patriotism for my country.  I have great hope that things get better for everyone and the economy keeps getting better for jobs and our people.  I love my country very much and maybe it is corny to say this but I have felt this way since I was a child.  I have a great respect for the flag and I wish that others could know more about flag procedures so that they would not show disrespect for it.  Like it should never touch the ground.  It should not be displayed over night unless it has proper lighting on it so it should be taken down over night.  In it should be at half mast Flags need to be flown at half mast when there is a great national tragedy.(Your best bet is when it is at half mast at the White House) Once the flag is torn or touches the ground it needs to be given to a veteran’s group for disposal.  It should not be wadded up and it should be folded correctly.  I wish that others would teach their children about this as well to instill the patriotism that I learned from being in the color guard at school.  We have lost these things over the years but we could also take this time to renew our respect for our flag.  We also said the Pledge of Allegiance with the words under God in it every day in school that I also feel made a different mind set to us all over the years.  The time it takes to do these things right or even at all is not much out of our days.  If you cannot fly the flag and give it the respect that it needs every day then maybe just take it out on special days when you have the time to give it the correct respect it deserves.

I turn my thoughts today to my loved ones in Indiana.  We called today Decoration Day not Memorial Day.  This is a time you went to the cemetery and reflected on the accomplishments of their lives.  There were also flowers put at each grave marker to show others that they were cared for.  My Brother is also in Colorado and my Father is here in Bella Vista and I will go there.  My Grandfather in Indiana on my Mother’s side was a Doctor.  He served in WWI and helped to make a hospital in Siberia, Russia.  He also served his community during the Great Depression.  He was wonderful to these people as he took bacon or eggs or nothing at all if they did not have anything to pay him for his services as a Doctor.  If I were to ask that of my Dr. now they would turn me away and send me to the emergency room at the hospital for help that in the long run is much more expensive.  My Grandmother was a very kind soul as well and was very active in her church.  She would fix meals for what was then called bums that got off the local railroad and they would do some work around her house.  Paint or trim bushes or mow the lawn or rake leaves.  She would fix them a big roast beef sandwich to eat then and send them off with one to go.  These people I am sure thanked her and the word spread about her kindness through their community.  My Grandfather on my Father’s side was a vice President of Standard oil of Indiana.  He had two families as he was married two times and that was unusual in that time.  His other family was in Chicago.  He had a farm that he raised my father and his brother on and later on when he was gone my Dad and his brother built homes on that farm that are still there today and I remember us working on them.    My Grandmother on my father’s side was a fun person good cook and she took us to see scary movies at the drive in.  She loved peppermint ice cream.  My father was an aerospace engineer and he helped to get man to the moon.  He was the first person to load liquid rocket fuel into a Titan missile.  He could fix anything if you gave him the manual and did all this without a college degree.  He loved to play golf and fish and we always had a boat.  The first one we had was a cris craft kit that he built and it was a beautiful boat.  Varnished wood not a big boat but we had lots of fun with it.  My Brother was a truck driver and he had two girls his gift to us.  He had lots of friends that loved him and still miss him to this day.  My brother loved to read and one of his favorite authors was Stephen King.  I miss him so much as well as the others in this day’s remembrance.  I have other Aunts and Uncles that are gone as well that were dearly loved as well and I miss all of them and know as I think of all of these people that they are waiting for me on the other side.  All their pain is gone and they are together.

First let me say that I have seen all the info on the innocent people that drones are killing. I am torn about drones.  I am all for a device that keeps American soldiers out of harm's way.  In World War II we dropped tons of bombs that could not be aimed at any thing we just hoped that if we covered the area we wanted to hit with enough bombs it would get what we were aiming at.  Things have changed.  Now we can direct bombs with much better accuracy.  In wars people that may not be involved get killed.  This sucks but it is hard to avoid unless we stop going to war.  That is what I would prefer in the long run.  For now we have a war machine that has its own lobby.  That pays for votes that continue to make wars to keep the companies that make war its business.  It is like a cat chasing its tail.  To stop the ultimate problem we need to get the lobby out of DC and make the people we elect be responsible to the people of the United States not corporations.  The younger generation will have to help tackle this one as my generation is on the downhill slope.  I will keep trying to oppose that forces that control our Nation now but we need the energy of the young to get mad enough to want to make changes.  This is what happened in the 60's and it needs to happen for us all now.  Our President has gone on record that the congress is informed every time a drone is going to be used in an attack.  The CIA is the ones that are using them.  The GOP side wants to act like the President is using these things like he is playing a video game.  This is so far from the truth and just another way for the GOP to distract us from the fact that they are not doing anything that is meaningful to help our country.   I am praying that our people will not vote in these people again because we have needs for so many things to be done.

I guess I have a way of making people mad when I make some of my posts on political things.  In some cases this upsets me because these are my family and friends and they have opposing views from me and I wish that they had more of the same views as I do.  I do not like that I make them mad but I feel that the things I post are important and correct.  They think they are important and wrong.  It is too bad.  Much like the rest of our country there is a great divide between the Republicans and the Democrats.  It feels like things are getting worse these days and that is too bad as well.  On my side of the fence it would seem that the other party is going crazy.  They seem to be making up things to be upset with the president about and determined to hold up any needed measures to have hearings about these made up things.  I find this to be a huge waste of our congress that should be doing things to make our country better.  I think that the other side sees this as holding the president responsible for what is going on.  The problem is that I am not seeing the president even responsible for the things that they are trying to pin on him.  The other side seems to want to hold the president up to some unrealistic standard that no human could ever reach.  Let’s take on Benghazi today.  I am very sad that there was a loss of life in that embassy.  Not only the ambassador but others that should not have died there.  First I would have closed all embassies in these crazy countries that hate us and let the people of their countries come over here to us or call us if they want to speak.  Hey maybe they could even Skype for a face to face conversation over the internet with both sides being safe.  We now have technology that will allow for this.   It is a different world that we live in now compared to twenty years ago and government needs to change how it does things.  Second if there is no other way then to have people from our country in these crazy countries then we should have buildings like Ft. Knox to house them in.  When the congress was asked to give the funding for more security at our embassies they declined to give them more protection.  They were keeping up with their promise to voters to not raise taxes but to me there is so much money being wasted in the defense fund that some of that money could be used for the protection of our embassies that this is a poor excuse for not doing the right thing.  There seems to be some hubbub about when the President knew what was going on and that he did not call this act a terrorist attack.  Once again expecting the president to know exactly what is going on in every country in the world is a superhuman feat an expectation that no human could do.  There should have been in place an automatic response that should have gone into place when our embassies are attacked but I feel that there is nothing like this in place to this day.  It seems like we have a blind spot that once something like this happens then we think it will not happen again.  It will happen again trust me on this.  It has happened before this as well but our memories seem to have failed us.  Other presidents have dealt with tragedies like this but have never been held responsible for the actions of others like President Obama has.  I will talk about this some other day as to why I feel this is so.  Benghazi was an attack on the embassy in Libya made by some crazy people that feel that killing others is the way to solve their problems.  Much like we do.  Killing others is not the way to solve problems we need to set a better example to the world and maybe others would not attack us.  The GOP wants to make out like not calling these crazy people terrorists makes this attack the fault of the President.  Come on now we know that is crazy for people to think this.  What difference does it make who said what when to whom when the people that have died in this attack will not be brought back to life.  There is not a conspiracy behind every door. When there is an attack not everything is known about what has happened all at once.  There is a part of me that feels that the CIA is using our embassies as their base in other countries is wrong.  I feel that this may have more to do with what happened in Benghazi then anything else that has been said about this matter but little has been said about the CIA using the embassy this way.  Let’s get the CIA out of our embassies and have them set up their bases else where.

      I watched the President today give his speech about the drones and the jail in Guantanamo.  These are both very touchy subjects that need to be handled with care.  There was a woman there in the audience that was heckling him and he did pretty good getting her to quiet down.  She was upset about the prisoners in Guantanamo and wanted him to release them today.  Well you and I both know that this is not going to happen.  The President once again threw down the gauntlet to the congress to have them pass a bill to make the closing of this prison possible.  I have a trust in the court system here in the United States that is not perfect but would do the right thing in regards to the prisoners.  I also have complete confidence that they could be kept in a prison here in the states to serve their time at a much cheaper cost to all of us then a million dollars per prisoner.  I have no idea what these people have done to get them where they are now but  I do not want to see someone that is innocent staying in prison for life either. 

     As for the drones I guess that the use of them is far better then risking American lives.  In a war innocent people are at risk.  Any bomb dropped or grenade launched or bullet shot has the possibility of missing its mark and killing some innocent by stander.  No one in a war wants to hurt innocent people but on the other hand this may be incentive for those that are on our side to fight with us so that innocent lives are not lost.  This can also more then likely make people in the families hate us.  There is another side of this that can be disturbing because if the people in the armed forces do not take any risk in losing there life then they may turn cold and uncaring towards the lives lost that are not the targets.  I do not know what the right answer is on this other then to end war. Maybe you all can suggest an proper answer to both of these issues.

 I am very sad about the losses in Oklahoma and my heart goes out to the families and friends of those who had someone die in the tornado if May 20, 2013.  The loss of their homes and businesses is horrible.  That said I do not want to appear cold to these people but here goes.  The people of my state Arkansas and Oklahoma have petitioned the President to secede from the Union peacefully.  You may find a list of the other states that wish to do this at this link.  https://www.wnd.com/2012/11/now-many-states-want-to-secede-from-u-s/  If your majority of people want to leave the United States of America to become independent from the oppression that they see being imposed by our government why should our government come to the aid of these states when a disaster strikes?  Let’s just see how independent they really want to be.  Is the Republican governor of the state of Oklahoma going to refuse help?  When I saw the governor on Morning Joe this morning when asked by Joe Scarborough (SP on his name)  how she thought that President Obama was responding to help her state she side stepped the question and would not answer.  She would not give the President any praise.  I feel that she saw how Governor Christy was treated by the Republican Party when he praised President Obama for his aid to his state.  After hurricane Sandy the governor of Oklahoma did not want to be treated this way by the Republicans.  President Obama has responded in the same manor as he did after hurricane Sandy.  The state of Oklahoma did not vote for President Obama in the last election.   Yet President Obama is rising above the petty political feelings he might have towards a state that would not have elected him had they been choosing.  I commend the President for his non political behavior for these people in a time of great need.  We are the United States for now and he is our President of all the states not just the states that voted for him.  There is a part of me that wants to say wait a minute. If you leave the union you would not be getting this help.  The Red Cross would show up because they go all over the world in times of disaster.  I am going to wait and see how the people of Oklahoma are treated by the congress.  They have a GOP majority.  In New Jersey the majority voted to reelect President Obama.  I saw the congress taking their time and to me continue to take their time in responding to hurricane Sandy.  Sandy hit Democratic leaning states and now we have a tornado hit a Republican state will the congress act quickly to save their voters?  I would like to think that politics is not a concern when dealing with disasters this large but something tells me that the Congress will be ready to help Oklahoma faster then the eastern states that were affected by hurricane Sandy.  We will have to see what happens time will tell.

If you read yesterday’s blog you will know that I spoke about my cancer.  After I had my treatment in the hospital I did not eat from Feb 19^th until May the 5^th.  The first date is approximate and the other is accurate.  It was a long time to go without eating I could not keep any food down.  My Oncologist had tried every kind of drug and treatment that they knew to get me to eat. While I was in the hospital they gave me this stuff that was brown and tasted very foul that was supposed to make me eat but after having that taste in my mouth I wanted nothing.  I was almost like a walking ghost skin and bones and I really was not hungry.  I would try to eat things my friends knew that I loved before all this had happened that they were giving me to get me started eating again.  Nothing would stay down.  My friend Lynette went with me to the Oncologist and was talking for me.  I was sort of a zombie to tell you the truth.  She asked what was going to be done to get me to eat again.  He said that they had tried everything that they knew to do to help me and the next thing was going to be to put me in the hospital for nutrition.  My friend said what about marijuana?  The Dr. said I cannot prescribe that for her it is against the law.  Lynette said that we would take care of that not to worry.  We left the Doctors office and we went to my home.  Lynette convinced my Mother who was staying with me that she could go home to Arkansas and that Lynette promised that I would recover.  My Mother would have never let me smoke marijuana if she were there she was very against drugs so that is why we had to get her to leave.  I know my Mom loved me very much she had been by my side the whole time I was sick taking care of me.  After she left my friends went to action and they got some marijuana and came to my house to smoke it.  We had some and I was still not hungry but they offered to get me what ever I wanted to eat anything they said.  I said how about a blizzard.  We went to get one and then returned to my home and I tried it.  Finally I was able to keep the food down and not get sick.  For me the marijuana had been the last step to save my life from the cancer.  I whish more then anything that marijuana was legal for people that need help like I did when I was sick.  I have worked with the people here in Arkansas to make a law that would allow for this.  No one should have to worry about being arrested when they are sick and need this medicine.  It’s just another worry that they should not have to endure when they need to be concentrated on getting well.  If this should come up in your state I hope that you will remember me and pass the needed laws to get this done. 

I am writing from another personal experience that I have had today sort of knocking off the items that are closest to my heart.  In 1991 I was sick with breast cancer.  I had stage 4 cancer and that is pretty sick. I worked for the local phone company and had very good health insurance with Met Life.  My Dr. of oncology had presented my case to a convention of around three thousand oncologists.  After all these Dr.’s had listened to my case they all agreed that what I needed was a bone marrow transplant where I was my own donor.  This might sound weird but what they did was take my bone marrow out clean it and filter it and then give it back to me in good condition.  I am getting ahead of the story and the issue I want to address today.  When my insurance company was told that I needed this very expensive treatment they denied my coverage.  They said US West my employer would not authorize it.  When I contacted my company they said that Met Life would not approve it and because of this finger pointing I was left in the middle very sick and needing life saving treatment.  My oncologist said while we worked things out with the insurance coverage I would act like it was going to happen any way and move forward with the treatment necessary to have the bone marrow transplant.  This included numerous tests that included a cat scan, bone scan, MRI, lung test, blood tests and others that I really cannot remember at this point but these were the big ones.  I also had chemo treatment while this was going on from a shunt that was put in my chest directly into the vein.  The tubing was attached to a device that held the medicine in it and it would give me doses of this medicine for a week.  Then it would be off me for two weeks and we would start the process over.  We did this five times for fifteen weeks.  I lost all my hair in this process.  I had a lawyer Mark Macy helping me fight the big companies and he never charged me a dime.  One night while I was going through this treatment I got a phone call from my CWA (Communications Workers of America) union rep and she said I needed to attend a union meeting.  I said to her I was too sick to be going to this and she said it was very important I attend so I went.  We all sat down and it was good to see my work buddies and the meeting started.  This was a large hall and had maybe six thousand people there at the meeting all coming to see the politician who was out to get votes. The meeting started and if you have ever been to one they follow rules of order.  When it was asked if anyone had any business to present my shop steward stood up and said I do.  She said that I was sick and the company insurance was not giving my treatment and that they wanted to talk about what was happening to me.  I looked over at her in shock that my friends would stand up for me this way.  They all voted to add my case to the meeting and not one person in that hall said nay.  They then asked me to come up on the stage and tell them about what was happening and to me I looked like shit and should not be in front of that many people that way but I got up to speak.  All this time the politician that was there to talk was dumbfounded because I was hijacking his time to get the votes.  After I talked the union took a vote to support me and the phone company for the state of Colorado was giving the company 48 hours to give in to giving my treatment or there was going to be a strike.  My jaw dropped once again when no one that was at this meeting said nay.  This was huge for me and my life because without the union standing up for me.  The company had eight big time New York lawyers that would more then likely fight this until I was dead.  After the meeting my congressman came to me and gave me his card and said if he could do anything to help me get this done call and let him know.  I had also been on the radio KOA in Denver telling about this problem on a consumer show that helped people fix issues they had with Tom Martino.  When I got home that night after going to get coffee with my buddies the phone was ringing as I walked up the stairs.  There was no running to get up the stairs to catch the phone because it was a struggle in my weakened condition just to get up them.  I figured if it was important they would call me back.  It was still ringing when I got up there and it was my lawyer Mark Macy.  He said where have you been?  I thought it was weird he was calling me as it was late at night.  I said I was out at a union meeting.  He said well I do not know exactly what has happened but the New York lawyers said I could get my treatment and to “Call off the dogs”.   Mark said he did not know what this meant but they had given him conditions for my treatment to happen.  I could not be on the radio or news any longer.  When I told Mark what had happened at the union meeting he figured out who the dogs were and why they had to be called off.  I had been given the phone number of the local union President and she had told me to call her as soon as I knew what the company was going to do so she could call off the strike.  I called her and let her know that they had given in and that it was over.  Needless to say I am alive today because of the actions of all these people. There are two things I have to say about all this.  The first is that a lot of people talk down about unions but they made the difference for me the little guy when the corporation would have let me die like they did in four other women’s cases.  Second is that insurance companies are not doctors.  The consensus of doctors that said I needed this treatment knew what was necessary to save my life.  The insurance company just did not want to spend their precious money for me and they knew as sick as I was that I would not fight them for very long.  If it were up to me we would end insurance companies and take that money and put it to a health fund that would make social security profitable  instead of losing money and give everyone coverage.  Ending the 400% profits that insurance companies enjoy at our costs.

Today I am thinking of my dear friend Jay Watson.  He was the sweetest soul you could ever want to meet.  He not only was kind but one of the best looking men I have ever known.  He did some modeling as a matter of fact.  Jay came out to me one night when his sister and I went to see his new house.  He had a male roommate that he in troduced to me.  We took a tour of the house they had decorated it very nicely and there was only one bed in the only bedroom and that was when it hit me like a ton of rocks. He was gay this man who I felt could have his choice of women wanted a man.  After the initial shock wore off mind you this was the 1980's and the fact that you came out was a big deal, I accepted it because I loved Jay.  His sister and I were locker mates and very good friends through school and church program that we both attended.  Life went on for all of us and I found myself very sick with cancer.  (I needed a bone marrow transplant and I will get into that another day.)  One day while I was sick and in the hospital isolation unit Jay joined with his sister and several other friends that were coming to see me all wearing masks and gowns.  Jay and his sister lingered after the others left and this is when Jay told me that he had been told he had AIDS.  At this point in time they were still not even sure how it was transmitted.  Jay said he needed the same treatment that I was getting to save his life.  I told him that he just needed to be determined to get it done as I had to fight my insurance to get the treatment paid for.  After I was released from the hospital and recovered myself my dear friend Jay had gone into the hospital and was very sick.  I went to see him and he could not speak but they were trying to treat him as best they could because there was no know cure for AIDS at the time you just died very quickly.  I know that there is no cure yet for it but people are living a lot longer now after being diagnosed with it.  Jay died very soon after that and it was later determined he had got the disease from his roommate who died after Jay.  I know that they cared for each other very much and were in a commited relationship and now in our time they would have wanted to get married.  This is what brings me to the real subject of this day's blog.  I believe that gay people have the right to be married and have the happiness and financial protection that this brings straight people.  While others will argue that God does not think it is ok to be gay I say God loves us.  With that love he gave his son to forgive us for all our sins and not just some of them.  The God I know would want us to love each other not try to deny others love.  Judge not or you shall be judged.  I think of my dear friend Jay in regards to Gay marrage because I would no more want to deny him the happiness that marrage brings then the man in the moon.  I cannot see keeping him from what really is a church matter that the government is making legitimate.  I say for  those churches that want to deny people this happiness then drive on.  Don't get involved in the government you churches.  Our country was founded on freedom from religion and there was to be a seperation of the church and state.  Dont have weddings at your churches that is your freedom to choose to believe that way.  Just dont get involved in things of the government outside your church.  Oh and straight people I do not see how this even effects you at all because no one is asking you to get married to the same sex.  You can still be straight married and just like the couple down the street of Mary and John does not effect your marrage the marrage of Bob and Rob will not effect your marrage either.  We have so little love in this world let's encourage more love not less. I say this for you my dear friend Jay.

I like to give my thoughts on politics.  I most of the time have a liberal point of view and may on occaision be conservative.  I hope you enjoy my thoughts and want to follow along with me and maybe make your own comments too. Here ar my thoughts for today!